


all I've seen since eighteen hours ago

by thekaidonovskys



Series: After the Drift [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Developing Relationship, Drift Hangover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2030604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekaidonovskys/pseuds/thekaidonovskys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As it turns out, there’s a lot of unspoken emotion between Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all I've seen since eighteen hours ago

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted by Tumblr user thekaidonovskys

They tell you that the Drift connects your minds. There’s nothing to hide, all your memories laid bare in an instant - but more than laid bare because the other person doesn’t have a choice, doesn’t get to pick through and look at what they want, they see it all. 

Naturally there’s hesitance, and naturally most Jaeger pilots are those who know one another. Siblings, familial bonds, partners. The people who you think you’ve shared everything with anyway, and if there’s more then it’s okay, they won’t care or judge. The people who you can never handle life apart from again, who parting from is like tearing your own mind apart because they’re in there too, just as much as you are. Naturally there’s hesitance. 

So naturally they don’t tell you that the connection of minds is only  _part_ of it. 

It’s the emotions that get you. Because every memory, every thought, everything left unsaid… they’re not just memories. They all  _feel_ something. And you feel it all, just as if it’s happening to you. You see everything, and you feel everything, and heaven help you if some of those emotions are  _about_ the person you’re Drifting with and you’ve never told them. 

And you will never be the same people again. 

As it turns out, there’s a lot of unspoken emotion between Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb. 

They emerge from the Drift shaky and frightened, full of Kaiju knowledge and urgency. And memories, as they learn in the helicopter ride back to the Shatterdome, memories they sort through and find what’s important and deal with, later that night. 

The next day, when they wake up with Newt curled into Hermann’s side in a way that can’t be ignored for anything other than what it is, they see what they need to in each other’s eyes and don’t speak about it. Newt slips back to his room to shower and dress, and then they go to the lab, to begin their reports. The Shatterdome is quiet today, people finally able to relax, but soon enough decisions will need to be made about what comes next. 

Newt and Hermann work, just like usual. Because usual is what they need, now that their worlds have flipped on their heads  _just slightly_ , and they need calm before they can begin to tackle what comes next. 

People pop in throughout the day to congratulate them, to see how they’re doing and discuss what they’re thinking of doing next. Newt tenses when Tendo mentions to Hermann that he’s overheard that Geneva wants him, but Hermann just gives a noncommittal shrug and says that he’ll make decisions when they are required to be made. 

He glances slightly at Newt when he says it, and Newt can’t hide his smile for the next few minutes. 

People are already leaving, though, as they learn when they go to dinner and find the hall nearly half-empty. Some have gone out to celebrate, but other people have seen too much, or just need to go and find family, and that’s okay. It’s the end of an era, after all, and time to move forward.

After dinner, as they’re heading back to the lab, they bump into Raleigh, who holds out an awkward hand to Newt. “Now that they’re gone, your ink is actually pretty cool,” he says.

Newt grins and shakes his hand. “Bit of a memento, especially when they’re on the guy who managed to Drift with the Kaiju brain  _twice_. I still think Hermann here needs to get at least one tattoo to commemorate his Drift.”

Raleigh laughs and turns to shake Hermann’s hand as well. “You two saved our lives,” he says with incredible sincerity. “Everybody’s trying to talk to me and Mako, saying we’re the heroes, but they should be tripping over their feet to find you two. I mean, Drifting with a  _Kaiju_ … what’s it like?”

“Squishy,” Hermann says, startling them both.

Newt laughs. “That’s actually really accurate. Nah, man, they  _think_ differently to us. Their pictures work differently, the order of recall, clarity of memory, and it’s all  _entirely_ different but still weirdly similar. I almost wish I could do it again, just to try and work out how…”

As he talks, Newt sees Hermann’s jaw clench slightly, sees his centre of gravity shift an inch. And he feels the throb of white fire go through his leg.

He doesn’t  _feel_ it, not really. The Drift hasn’t linked them that much. But he knows what those signs mean and he has the pain in his head, the memory and emotion of that pain, and he feels it and he understands. 

“Excuse me, Mr. Becket,” he interrupts himself. “Sorry, sorry to - it’s just, from the first time I Drifted with the Kaiju brain, I remember it did a number on me about twenty-four hours later. Like a really bad hangover. I think Hermann’s probably gonna start feeling that soon, so I’d like to drag him off now.”

Hermann frowns at him, but doesn’t speak. Raleigh nods. “Of course. You two deserve a break anyway. Good work on the brain.”

“Good work being the hotshot,” Newt retorts.

Raleigh smiles and heads off down the corridor, probably towards Mako’s room. Newt takes Hermann’s arm, ignoring his confusion, and leads him, not to the lab, but to Hermann’s room. “What is going on, Newton?” Hermann hisses. “I am certainly not feeling any side effects from the Kaiju Drift, and, more to the point, you  _assured_ me there were none.”

“No, but I thought you’d much prefer that than me saying  _sorry, Raleigh, Hermann’s about to fall over because his leg is playing up_  -”

Hermann stops. “How did you -”

“How do you  _think_ , dude?” Newt taps his forehead. “I’ve got it all up here. I know what it means when you try and get the weight off your leg like that.”

“I wasn’t aware it was noticeable.”

“It isn’t.” Newt tugs at his arm to get him moving. “Not to normal people -”

Hermann snorts. “Well, we’ve certainly never classified you as normal.”

“- and not to people who have been in your  _brain_ ,” Newt completes. “Now, come on, come and sit down.” 

He opens Hermann’s door and leads him in, back into the room where they’d spent the night talking softly and understanding. Hermann sits down with a small sigh of relief, stretching out his leg. “That is much better,” he admits. “Thank you, Newton.”

That tone indicates dismissal, and Newt frowns before he can stop himself. “Oh, okay. If you want me to… I’ll just -”

Hermann’s been in his mind too, Newt remembers belatedly, and in his emotions. He knows what it means when Newt bites his lip in that way, and Newt sees his expression soften. “I simply presumed you wouldn’t want to sit here with me when you could be tearing wildly around the lab without intrusion. You are… more than welcome to stay.”

Newt pulls over a chair and sits across from Hermann, not wanting to jolt his leg by sitting on the bed. “I’ve done enough of that today,” he says. “And I’m running out of work anyway. Kinda want to save something to tide me over, until…”

He stops. 

Hermann nods in understanding. “Miss Mori came to speak with me today when you stepped out for a few minutes,” he says. “We have two weeks until the Shatterdome is closed, and then we must find other places to go. Other work.”

Newt swallows hard. “Oh,” he says. “Right. That… that soon?”

“Yes. She also confirmed that the rumors Tendo has heard were true. There is an opening at Geneva and they have ventured a request, which I believe will officially come in tomorrow. The laboratory is only second to the Shatterdome, and their work is vital. It is certainly tempting.”

“Well that’s… that’s great, Hermann,” Newt mumbles. “I mean, really good. Brilliant. I hope you enjoy it, I’m really glad they want you -”

“I’m sorry?” Newt looks up to see Hermann blinking at him, looking lost. “Will you not… I mean, does it not interest you?”

“Geneva? Yeah, their work sounds pretty cool but if it’s you that they want then I’m just gonna have to find something else -”

“Newton,” Hermann says with a touch of exasperation, “you don’t listen, do you? Geneva has requested _both_ of us.”

Newt stops. “Both?” he asks quietly. 

“Yes. Out of the eighteen offers I have received today, twelve of them have been joint positions with yourself. You should have received the emails also.”

“I… kinda haven’t checked my email today.” Hermann looks as if he’s about to reprimand him, but Newt keeps going. “You mean people want us… both of us… like this? Like how we are now?”

“Precisely. It is well known that our combined work helped predict and understand the Kaiju breach, and with the knowledge that we are also Drift compatible there are many facilities who would like to work with that information. I believe all of the offers I received for single positions were from universities, whom I presume would also have contacted you to teach in similar fields. That does not appeal as much. I would rather a laboratory situation, and we will have to discuss what we both wish to do in order to choose the right position -”

“You  _want_ to work with me?”

Hermann stares at him. “Yes,” he says slowly. “Why would I not?”

“But you…” Newt breaks off and shakes his head. “You  _detest_ working with me. We always argue and… and…”

“And?”

“I mean, you’ve seen my  _head_ ,” Newt blurts out. “You know I’m mental, you know it’s wild in there all the time and I’m in seven different places at once and you’re so calm and I’m just the  _opposite_ and how? How can you bear that?”

“Because you complement me.”

Newt blinks at that, then shakes his head. “No… I mean, yeah, polar opposites and all that but Hermann, you  _ground_ me. You help me calm down when I’m off on too many tangents and I just… I just drive you _mad_. I can’t possibly -”

“Our bickering saved the world,” Hermann cuts in calmly. “Is there no better recommendation than that?”

Newt stares at him again, then laughs. “Fucking hell. Okay. Alright, if you really want to.”

“I mean, if you wish to pursue your own field -”

“No way, man. I enjoy having you around. Especially… now. Now that I’ve seen, and… and it’s like they say, you know? I kind of don’t think I’d handle being too far away from you. And I don’t mean - you know, no  _pressure_ , but -”

“Newton…”

That pause.

Newt looks at him,  _really_ looks, and then matches the memory to everything he sees in Hermann’s eyes. 

“Oh,” he says quietly. “Is that… that’s something you - you want to say? To… to call me?”

And suddenly they're on another topic entirely - except they're not. All of this, whether it be about work or Hermann's leg or the sudden memory Newt's gotten of words, names Hermann has wanted to call him for so long but hasn't, all the words left unsaid... it all means the same thing. It's all leading to the same thing that's so damn close; that's  _been_ so damn close all these years except this time -

This time they're finally going to reach out and grab it. 

Hermann looks down at his hands. “You understand that sentiment is not something I express easily,” he says. “I am not one who is used to physical affection in public, nor will I…  _soften_  my manner.”

“And I’d never ask you to.”

Hermann gives a ghost of a smile. “These words, though, feel so perfectly calculated to express… feelings. Emotions that there is little point hiding as you have now seen them all, and emotions that, unless I am completely mistaken in what I have seen, are reciprocated.”

Newt takes his hand, feels Hermann’s fingers curl around his in a way he knows Hermann likes but would never initiate. “They are,” he agrees. “Very, very reciprocated. I want affection from you to be  _from you_ , Hermann. However you feel comfortable expressing it, I want it. Even if you’re not ready for… for  _us_ yet, whatever it might end up being -”

“If  _I’m_ not ready?”

Newt trips over his tongue. “I mean… well, you know how I feel. You know what I want.”

“As do you.” Hermann looks at him with the utmost sincerity, and a small hint of bravery. “Newton, darling, of course I want this.”

And there it is. No hesitating, no awkwardness, the term of affection slipping into his words so simply and so very  _right,_ and Newt grins far wider than he expected. “It sounds so much better out loud than in your thoughts,” he says, and Hermann smiles. “So we’re a… uh, a couple?”

Of course they are. They see it immediately in one another’s faces, feel it in the hearts that are now woven around their own. 

They’ll probably take the Geneva offer. Newt knows that Hermann wants it, and that’s enough to get him on board too. Hell, he’ll settle for just about anything if it means he gets affection from Hermann Gottlieb. It’s the rarest of treasures.

And he’ll return it in his own way, slowly and carefully, and they’ll make this work. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of my most canon-compliant verse: simply what came next. 
> 
> Title from "Everything Has Changed".


End file.
